Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Babies......

It seems like I am at the age where every which way I look, there are babies. Friends who have babies, friends whose babies are growing up, friends who are pregnant, friends who want to get pregnant, babies, babies, babies.

I am at an age where I should probably have a kid already, at least one. But we have chosen not to have children yet....and frankly, I am fine with that. I really think not every couple should have children. I find as I get older without children, I am realizing it may not be necessary to have children at all.....

However, something inside me cringes every time I see an update on Facebook or Instagram that another friend is pregnant, or the cute baby pictures of their babies. Like I should have children, it's the right thing to do. Have a family, have little ones to watch grow up so one day they can take care of us. Yes, a part of me wants that, but a bigger part of me doesn't.

Call me selfish, call me crazy. It's a lot of responsibility. We are the ones that mold this child's life. There are so many screwed up people in the world, what if my kid turns out like that?! I don't know. I love watching my friends grow into parenthood, I love their children too. I love going to birthday parties and watching them grow, as well as watching my friends transform from a person I knew to a responsible parent. It's hard. The life they have to let go. I'm not sure I want to do that. Like ever.

Yes, is that selfish? Probably. But having children is a choice. And right now, I choose not to. The Man and I choose not to. Our parents must think we're nuts or something. They have certainly brought it up.

I go back and forth constantly, but as I get older and older (in my 30s) and time's ticking, I think do I want children? The Man and I have gotten along fine and it's been only the two of us for the last decade. For now, I will admire from far the babies and children in my life only through the lives of friends and family. And I am okay with that. Really.

Childless and OK with that,
The Lady


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